Synaesthetic

I feel like a part of me isnt progressing. Maybe I need to journal more!

Lets see where am I at?

Ive been doing web work but getting under paid cuz I'm just starting. I'd like to get paid full but I don't really know what I'm doing fully in starting my own company. I've talked to nic aragon about combining forces - I think this can be a way out of this rut.

I'm also getting overwhelmed by how fast the internet and technology is progressing. I guess I used to feel like a badass because I felt like I was way better than most ppl but now I feel like I'm losing my edge.

I need to achieve my higher potential and be where I want to be. This means doing more but I've been lazy lately. Playing too much quake live! Quake live is killin me! I love how amped it makes me but its a temporary excitement. I should be achieving my creative goals. I wish the self discipline to be excited by boring things.

Oh well I'm excited about the upcoming halloween - psychedelic freak show. After that I want to buckle down and work really hard and get my company really off the ground. I know I can do it if I just focus.

Its tough because I've developed alot of allergies. When I eat food with something I am allergic to I get brain fog.

When I feel good I feel so good that I just want to watch movies/tv/or play qlive instead of work. When really I should work when I feel good, cuz then when I dont feel on point and I have to work its tough!

I want to make enough money to get a house out of the country and grow crops to live sustainably off of solar - I feel like I've spent too much time having fun so I am so used to it.

Hrmm how to make boring stuff fun - that is my new goal!

Its been hard work but I'm starting to see "Miracles" happen. Its things like randomly people call me because their friend needs a website. Well they know I make websites because I haven't been hanging out as much, because I'm busy working on websites, now other people know to send them to me, ect.

Not just that but I sat there and I said to myself, I want more clients, but how can I get more?

I probrably should've started advertising, but coincidences keep happening where more and more people are calling me saying they have mutliple clients that need work. Its almost spooky how fast it worked.

I also wanted to double my income and that's been working too, about every 2 or 3 weeks I've doubled what I had previously.

I am going to try my best to keep this goin!!

"Luck Factor #7: Intensity

The seventh luck factor in this is intensity. Perhaps the most obviously identifiable quality of a highly successful person is, “Intensity of purpose.”

Always, the person who wants something longer and harder than the other is the one who will eventually win out in a competitive world. The more you want something, the more likely it is that you will learn what you need to learn and do what you need to do to achieve it. You will work longer hours and try more different things. You will read more books, listen to more tapes, and attend more different courses. You will meet more people and cover more ground. You will dramatically increase the probabilities of being the right person in the right place at the right time.

And when you back your intensity of purpose with the quality of persistence, you become like an irresistible force of nature. The fact is that, if you are absolutely clear about what you want and you engage in a high level of activity to achieve it, you will experience more luck than the average person. When you make a conscious decision to master your field and back it with high levels of energy and enthusiasm, you will move ahead further and faster than anyone around you. When you become a positive, cheerful person, who is known for your high character and integrity, you will put yourself on the side of the angels.

And when you back every desire and goal with unshakable confidence and persistence, and keep on keeping on, no matter what the adversity, you will turn out to be one of the luckiest people alive. And as a result, your future will be unlimited."

-http://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/7-factors-of-luck-part-1-of-3/

Investing your time doing things and hanging out with people that will give you a return vs Spending your time and wasting it.

Investing money and Spending money.

Things to think about.
Its better for the future to be investing all the time of course!

I've been taking a Rhodiola Rosea blend that has been tested on cosmonauts to increase their productivity.

I had some type of chronic fatigue / A.D.D. and I tried to fix it by trying out various A.D.D. medicines but none have worked as well for me as Rhodiola.


I feel smarter. I've been watching PHP video tutorials and I've learned alot. I also took some tutorials on Objective-C for mac / iphone programming. I ALSO have been doing javascript / jQuery tutorials. I want to learn C and C++.

It would seem difficult to learn so many languages at once, but they have this underlying logic to them so when they overlap it reinforces the concepts making it easier to remember.

I feel like I'm thinking 3x as fast. I felt a bit tripped out as if I focus inward I feel that I can hear this tone. I imagine the tone is my brainwave. I can consciously lower the tone to go from crown chakra (where it is usually when I start to hear it) and as I lower the tone I mentally go down through the various other levels in my body.

It was interesting as I went down into my throat I visualized that I need to write a book and say more meaningful / revolutionary topics when I MC, I want to drop knowledge on people.

As I descended into my heart I felt that it was much more activated than usual, I was grateful to have all of my friends and to know everyone that I do and I am glad they are in my life. I also thought about how I do the same things over and over again (hanging out with the same people, doing the same things) but that I do know and have A LOT of friends who want me to come hang out but I just don't because I end up going to hang out with one of the regulars. I decided I want to try and get out more and mingle with even more various groups.

As I descended into my stomach I felt like I've been having such amazing energy from eating organic and cutting out refined carbohydrates. I also felt that I should get into medicine so that I can find other people with problems like mine (I don't know if I am histadelic but I am an ectomorph and ectomorph people have very different dietary needs than athletic people or fatties, yet almost all the dietary advice out there is assumed you are over-weight, not under weight. I'd like to help people who are extra skinny because I bet they would have a lot of similar problems as I did and I could probably help them get better without getting on dangerous pharmaceutical drugs.)

As I descended into my legs I thought of all of the places that I want to travel. I want to go to Costa Rica, Belize, Jamaica, Chile, Brazil, Spain, Italy, Germany, New Zealand, Japan, Russia, France.

Then below my feet I actually started getting tired and I was able to get myself to go to sleep.



Thinking about learning multiple programming languages at once makes me feel that if I focus I can learn multiple languages at once as well.

I want to try it out. I already took a year of Japanese, so I could improve on that. I took 3 years of Spanish, I could re-activate that. I think I will look into italian (my sister speaks that), French, German.

I know Mandarin Chinese is really hard but maybe I will learn that if I live in China for a while.

I also want to learn ancient sumerian, hebrew and egyptian for occult studies.

Funny languges to learn are: Rastafarian /Jamaican (I just want to learn all their phrases like "i and i" and "fi dem") and EBONICS lol:



# be = are
# befo = before
# bent = wasted
# bomb = something that is considered popular or visuially pleasing
# boo = close friend
# booty = buttox
# boyz = gang friends
# brick = see phat
# Bruva = An male acquittance
# buck wild = really crazy
# bud = marijuana
# buggin' = actions in a manner which is considered to be not socially acceptable in a group of homies
# bumping = it is to my liking
# bust out = to leave
# busta = a person who hangs around with but is not wanted
# busta cap = shoot a gun fire a bullet
# busta move = to act quickly
# cent = cents
# cap = bullet
# chillin = Relaxing
# chronic = strong marijuana
# cock-blockin' = interfering in one's relations
# cream = money, riches, valuables
# crib = place of residence
# da shit = strong marijuana
# dimebag = bag of mixed illegal drugs, usually worth monitary exchage units in a factor ten
# dog = friend, worn out, bad, terrible, in bad shape
# dis = that, or too harass
# fitty = fifty
# flava = means flavor
# fly = tight (see tight) or neat
# fly gangster shit = going to fight
# foo = fool
# fronting = lying / attempting to start a quarrel
# ganja = marijuana grown in Jamaica or the flower of a marijuana plant
# gank = to steal or take from someone or something
# gat = gun
# (I'm gonna) gat yo' ass = You are angering me and I may become violent if you do not cease your actions
# he be = he does
# homey = friend
# hood = neighborhood
# hoodrat = scummy girl

I've been going to sleep early, getting up early, detoxing, and lifting weights.

I believe I had adrenal fatigue. Vitamin C, Adrenal Cortex, Taurine help this a ton.

I feel alot better!! Energized if you will...



I went to a fire tribe gathering last night. I love those burners. I want to go to burningman even more now. I don't know if I can afford it, but I'm going to try really hard.

Wow! I felt crazy brain fog for the past week, and today I drank some bentonite clay (1tsp) with psylium husk fiber (1tsp) in water.

I feel like the bentonite really got some heavy metals or something out of me, either that or it gave me some electrolytes that I really needed.

I hope I am this clearheaded tomorrow! I'm going to drink some bentonite again when I wake up :]

I started with a picture of "the man" from burningman, then added pictures of clouds, sunsets, & smoke. The main text was created with illustrator + cinema4d.

I quit working for a control freak designer last week and focused on my own company.

I've gotten rid of my chronic fatigue with my new stack!

zinc helps my energy levels (and drive). Citicoline helps my memory and focus. (and drive)

Chlorella is THE SHIT, I get so much energy from it and I feel really awesome and healthy.

I feel like I might've had some underlying infection that was causing my immune system to make me chronically fatigued. I recommend oregamax oregano extract pills, since taking them and this stack I have had amazing energy.


In the last week I've been learning jQuery, I am messing around with jQuery fading tabs on my portfolio site. I also have been learning more flash as well as after effects.




Right now I'm doing an after effects tutorial where the camera zooms out from san diego into space. I've been using google earth for the source images but they get pretty bad as you zoom out:



I'm going to have to photoshop the hell out of this or find a suitable nasa image.

Anyway my idea is to have the camera zoom out from san diego then go into space where it slows to rest next to an astronaut.

Synaesthetic Studios Text will fly into the scene and then a promo video / commercial for my design studio will start playing.

I have also started messing around with adobe FLEX platform. My friend Ben got offered to do a site for a group who is affiliated with and teaches ableton live to students. We are going to make a site with an ableton live! skin.

I can tell each day more and more information comes available. I'm starting to learn and do more in a day than I used to in a week.


I'll post the vid when it's done.

I got jarrow zinc balance (15mg zinc + 1mg copper)
most males are deficient in zinc, and zinc helps with tesosterone.

I think I am low test.

I also got cdp-choline. I had choline bitarate and lecithin granules as choline sources but after taking CDP I can say it is much better. I used to take alpha gpc choline but ran out.

I feel like it helps my memory and motivation, It makes me a tiny but more assholish and aggressive but I like the motivation.

I also got a pound of chlorella. This helps greatly with alkalinity and gut flora health, it also gives me great energy because of the b12 and mineral profile.

I also got vitamin D3 (vitamin D is awesome for immune system health as well as its effect on dopamine helps energy levels) D3 coming up as one of the most important supplements for health as we don't get enough sunshine.

Lastly I got oregamax.

Oregano has more orac than blueberries, and it helps with people who have wheat problems ( I think it kills the yeast) I'm going to give it a run and see how I feel,

so far with all of this combined I feel energetic & motivated.

My new favorite snack is pecan + granola (I know its not paleo) with frozen blueberries and cream line maple yogurt.

A Roman Catholic, Pere Claude Sicard visited the great pyramid in 1715. His account is interesting in that he describes an unusual feature of the empty coffin in the King’s chamber. He states " it was formed out of a single block of granite, had no cover, and when struck, sounded like a bell". Others have also reported about this strange melodic sound that the coffin emits when struck. Abbe Claude-Louis Fourmont visited the great pyramid in 1753 and also noted the sonorous coffin had not any inscription on it.



NAPOLEON'S VISIT TO THE GREAT PYRAMID

In the 18th century many foreign visitors came to the great pyramid. They were scholars, scientists, historians, explorers, etc. One of the most famous visitors to the great pyramid was Napoleon Bonaparte. His military expedition to Egypt in 1798 was not only military but archeological as well. "He took with him engineers, surveyors, astronomers, artists and archeologists. They surveyed, measured, explored, and made drawings of the great pyramid. Their work was published in many volumes from 1809 to 1822 by order of Napoleon.

A remarkable picture of the Grand Gallery by the French architect Cecile during the Napoleonic Campaign in Egypt A.D. 1798-1801

There is an interesting note to this story about Napoleon on his visit to the great pyramid. He asked to be left alone in the King’s chamber. When he emerged, it was reported that he looked visibly shaken. When an aide asked him if he had witnessed anything mysterious, he replied that he had no comment, and that he never wanted the incident mentioned again. Years later, when he was on his deathbed, a close friend asked him what really happened in the King’s chamber. He was about to tell him and stopped. Then he shook his head and said, "No, what's the use. You'd never believe me." As far as we know, he never told anyone and took the secret to his grave. (It is interesting to note that there is an unsubstantiated story that Napoleon had hinted that he was given some vision of his destiny during his stay in the King's Chamber).

"Some visitors, including the great and fearless Emperor Napoleon himself, have experienced strange visions and environmental distortions whilst inside the Great Pyramid, particularly the King's Chamber. In the 1930s, author Paul Brunton spent a night there and was assailed by visions of "a circle of hostile creatures" which he likened to "elemental creations, grotesque shapes, madmen, hulking and devilish apparitions". Was this mere hallucination? In more recent times such ideas have been put down to the background radiation given off by the black granite of the chamber, but surely if it was that simple then everyone who visited the chamber would experience a similar thing, wouldn't they?

Early experiments indicated that the King's Chamber 'spirit stones' did seem to generate an electrical field which caused minor shock to at least one poor visitor drinking from a metal hip flask! It has been suggested that the Pyramid, because of its granite blocks, could transmit and receive radio and even microwave signals very well, and some believe that it gives off energy in an 'emanating apex' – this means that energy spirals off the top of the structure in a circle which widens as it permeates the atmosphere. Whilst some have seen this as mere New Age hokum, others have said this confirms their suspicions that the Pyramid is some kind of beacon intended for use from space."

"More recently, ex-NASA consultant Richard Hoagland has stated that radioactive sand was found in a chamber behind the Queen's Chamber, which might explain both the weird experiences of Napoleon et al and the anomalous radioactive date readings given by the Pyramid, in which it appears that the top of the structure is 1000 years older than the bottom! "

"As Giza Pyramid investigator August Tornquist states: "The Great Pyramid was the greatest single undertaking in the whole history of mankind. And yet there is not one picture or drawing, not one artefact, not one inventory or tally sheet to tell of its construction. The Egyptians left us some 3000 years of written and pictorial history covering virtually everything that happened in their culture. From babies being born, to ploughing and harvesting, building, weaving, sacrificing, praying, embalming... but nothing about the Pyramids of Giza. Why?"

For a nation that loved to boast, they seem strangely reticent to tell us anything about the Pyramids at Giza. Perhaps the reason was simply because they were as much a mystery to the Ancient Egyptians as they are to us."

"There is in fact documentary evidence – from Sumerian clay tablets unearthed in the great historical library of Nineveh – that the Great Pyramid was known to the Sumerians of 10,000 years ago, 6000 years before the first Pharaoh of Egypt was even born!"

"Each of the Great Pyramid's four walls, when measured as a straight line, are 9,131", for a total of 36,524". At first glance, this number may not seem significant, but move the decimal point over and you get 365.24. Modern science has shown us that the exact length of the solar year is 365.24 days."

"The average height of land above sea level (Miami being low and the Himalayas being high), as can be measured only by modern-day satellites and computers, happens to be 5,449". That is the exact height of the Pyramid.

"All four sides of the Pyramid are very slightly and evenly bowed in, or concave. This effect, which cannot be detected by looking at the Pyramid from the ground, was discovered around 1940 by a pilot taking aerial photos to check certain measurements. As measured by today's laser instruments, all of these perfectly cut and intentionally bowed stone blocks duplicate exactly the curvature of the earth. The radius of this bow is equal to the radius of the Earth. This radius of curvature is what Newton had long been seeking."

I've felt awesome the past few days. I've been getting alot of excersize and hydration, but I think the things that have helped the most are:

1) taking l-theanine before bed has made me get really good sleep, I can actually wake up and feel refreshed and want to hit the day, I dont have to drag myself out of bed.

2) taking cucurmin. I was reading up on this herb again and started taking it because of its antioxidant, brain-protecting, anti-tumor, anti-heart attack, anti-cancer, and beta amyloid plaque clearing (alzheimers curing) properties.

It turns out there is a super low rate of cancer and alzheimers where curry (turmeric = cucurmin) is consumed.



I started taking it and felt even more awesome! It turns out cucurmin is also involved with dopamine, serotonin and Norephinephrine.

Here are some more quotes I've gathered from google, and what I think

Tumeric (cucurmin) has long been used
in Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine
as an anti-inflammatory, to treat digestive disorders and liver problems and for the treatment of skin diseases and wound healing.
Cucurmin stimulates the production of bile and facilitates emptying of the gall bladder. In animals cucurmin protects the liver, has anti-tumor action, reduces inflammation and fights some infections.

Ahh, I also have a bad liver. This could also be helping my immune system.

Inflammation is a huge problem for ectomorphs and when I reduce inflammation I also feel smarter (cutting out gluten the inflammatory protein found in wheat has helped my brain fog a ton)

A study published in the June 2005 issue of the European Journal of Pharmacology titled The effects of cucurmin on depressive-like behaviors in mice looked at two animal models of depression. Neurochemical assays showed that cucurmin produced a marked increase in serotonin and noradrenalin levels in the frontal cortex and hippocampus in the mice. Dopamine levels were increased in the frontal cortex and striatum regions. Monoamine oxidase activity was inhibited in the mouse brain.

It seems like it might be a good replacement for the maoi properties of smoking

Behavioral (forced swim test), biochemical (monoamine oxidase (MAO) enzyme inhibitory activity), and neurochemical (neurotransmitter levels estimation) tests were carried out. Curcumin (10–80 mg/kg, i.p.) dose dependently inhibited the immobility period, increased serotonin (5-hydroxytryptamine, 5-HT) as well as dopamine levels (at higher doses), and inhibited the monoamine oxidase enzymes (both MAO-A and MAO-B, higher doses) in mice. Curcumin (20 mg/kg, i.p.) enhanced the anti-immobility effect of subthreshold doses of various antidepressant drugs like fluoxetine, venlafaxine, or bupropion. However, no significant change in the anti-immobility effect of imipramine and desipramine was observed. Furthermore, combination of subthreshold dose of curcumin and various antidepressant drugs resulted in synergistic increase in serotonin (5-HT) levels as compared to their effect per se. There was no change in the norepinephrine levels. The coadministration of piperine (2.5 mg/kg, i.p.), a bioavailability enhancing agent, with curcumin (20 and 40 mg/kg, i.p.) resulted in potentiation of pharmacological, biochemical, and neurochemical activities.
Conclusion The study provides evidences for mechanism-based antidepressant actions of curcumin. The coadministration of curcumin along with piperine may prove to be a useful and potent natural antidepressant approach in the management of depression.

Piperine is found in black pepper, you can also get cucurmin extracts with added piperine for bioavailability

Recent studies show that stress-induced damage to hippocampal neurons may contribute to the phathophysiology of depression. The aim of this study was to investigate the effects of curcumin on hippocampal neurogenesis in chronically stressed rats. We used an unpredictable chronic stress paradigm (20 days) to determine whether chronic curcumin treatment with the effective doses for behavioral responses (5, 10 and 20 mg/kg, p.o.), could alleviate or reverse the effects of stress on adult hippocampal neurogenesis. Our results suggested that curcumin administration (10 and 20 mg/kg, p.o.) increased hippocampal neurogenesis in chronically stressed rats, similar to classic antidepressant imipramine treatment (10 mg/kg, i.p.). Our results further demonstrated that these new cells mature and become neurons, as determined by triple labeling for BrdU and neuronal- or glial-specific markers. In addition, curcumin significantly prevented the stress-induced decrease in 5-HT(1A) mRNA and BDNF protein levels in the hippocampal subfields, two molecules involved in hippocampal neurogenesis. These results raise the possibility that increased cell proliferation and neuronal populations may be a mechanism by which curcumin treatment overcomes the stress-induced behavioral abnormalities and hippocampal neuronal damage. Moreover, curcumin treatment, via up-regulation of 5-HT(1A) receptors and BDNF, may reverse or protect hippocampal neurons from further damage in response to chronic stress, which may underlie the therapeutic actions of curcumin.

Curcumin reverses impaired hippocampal neurogenesis and increases serotonin receptor 1A mRNA and brain-derived neurotrophic factor expression in chronically stressed people.

It also increased the levels of dopamine but the effect was observed only at higher doses.

Further on, we read that The view that 5-HT has multiple functional roles in depression is supported by the clinical and experimental evidences suggesting that the neurotransmitter (serotonin) is involved in the regulation of mood, sleep, memory, learning, and sexual behavior, all of which are deranged to varying extents in patients with severe mental depression.

A study designed to determine whether curcumin could be safely administered to people who are sick, two Indian researchers gave 500 mg of the turmeric-derived natural product every day to 10 healthy volunteers every day for seven days. The test subject volunteers did not get sick, but they also showed an astonishing lowering of cholesterol.

In just seven days, there was a 29 per cent increase in the "good" HDL cholesterol, a 12 per cent decrease in total cholesterol (which means there was roughly a 34 per cent decrease in LDL cholesterol, which is not measured directly), and a 33 per cent decrease in lipid peroxides?

Many people need to watch their cholesterol should take this instead of big-pharmas chems

Less well known is the ability of curcumin to remove toxic heavy metals such as mercury, lead, cadmium and aluminum from the blood stream. Many pay significant amounts of money to clear these substances from their body, the use of curcumin could be an equal and more convenient treatment with far less expense. As with most herbs, the oral route requires a rather large amount of curcumin to be effective, because of the difficulty in absorbing it.

I took curcumin for years for pain in my joints. Eventually, those pains went away. So I stopped the curcumin. After this, I realized during this time, I didn't experience random episodes of depression. After I stopped supplementing with it, those depressive episodes came back. I little research on pubmed shows that Curcumin is a potent antidepressant. It is also a great anti-inflammatory, immune modulator, is neuro-protective and many other functions.

I USED TO TAKE CUCURMIN then didn't and looking back on those periods I did feel better when I was taking cucurmin regularily. I'm going to continue to experiment with cucurmin until I find a safe, proper anti-depressant dose. I'm not depressed but I can definately benefit from a little more dopamine and serotonin. =]


I was obsessed with damage control / nootropix but now I'm leaning towards making and marketing cucurmin bottles...

The greatest achievement is selflessness.
The greatest worth is self-mastery.
The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.
The greatest precept is continual awareness.
The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything.
The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways.
The greatest magic is transmuting the passions.
The greatest generosity is non-attachment.
The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.
The greatest patience is humility.
The greatest effort is not concerned with results.
The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.
The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.

Atisha

"Feelings of limitless horizons opening up to the vision, the feeling of being simultaneously more powerful and also more helpless than one ever was before, the feeling of ecstacy and wonder and awe, the loss of placement in time and space with, finally, the conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject was to some extent transformed and strengthened even in his daily life by such experiences." Abraham Maslow

Maslow asked his subjects to think of the most wonderful experience or experiences of their lives--the happiest moments, extatic moments, moments of rapture, perhaps from being in live, or from listening to music or suddenly "being hit" by a book or a painting or from some great creative moment. He found that people undergoing peak experiences felt more integrated, more at one with the world, more in command of their own lives, more spontaneous, less aware of space and time, more perceptive, more self determined, more playful.

Effects of peak experiences:

* The removal of neurotic symptoms
* A tendency to view oneself in a more healthy way
* Change in one's view of other people and of one's relations with them
* Change in one's view of the world
* The release of creativity, spontaneity and expressiveness
* A tendency to remember the experience and to try to duplicate it
* A tendency to view life in general as more worthwhile.

I took some oxiracetam + caffeine and I was goin off when I was MCing like 2 days ago!!

I didn't have any caffeine yesterday and I started getting high. I realized how stressed out I've been. I've been looking down on everyone who wasn't productive. Its kind of like this: You know how alcoholics or drug addicts, when they quit drinking or doing drugs and they go to AA (or NA), they are instructed to not hang out with their old drunk drug addict friends.

Well I don't have any friends that dont drink! I don't really like people who havent partied that much either cuz they are usually awkward, so I've been having this cognitive dissonance in trying to be sober.

I'm trying to be nice but I'm subconsciously pissed off at people for being such ignorant drunks and I feel like I'm still getting brain damage because the carbon dioxide / oxygen ratio inside the house or venue is getting unhealthy + theres a bunch of booze breath in the air and people smoking cigarettes. I loved myself when I was drinking so I don't want to judge others this harshly.

Its hard because I love my scene and my friends but sometimes I wonder about it from a life-extensionist perspective... I am probrably fucking myself up a bit by continually hanging out in low oxygen / belligerent environments. Its still fun to me. I like people not having anxiety. I also have to remain in this scene to jungle MC, so if I really wanted go all "sage mode" and be pure I'd have to quit doing anything with anybody.

I'm not ready for that yet but I have two worlds pulling me in and they don't seem to be compatible.

One is serious internet managing business which requires me to go to sleep early have a clear head (to remember and manage everything) and be sober, while jungle drum n bass MCing and DJing/Producing get me super excited on a whole different level, but like I said I'm exposed to low oxygen and toxins and staying up late (oh and probrably ear damage)...

I'll figure it out.


In other news, I hung out with with this girl a few days ago when I was all high and on oxiracetam so I was speaking in abstract unemotional technical gibberish which was really annoying and odd to me so I imagine it would be extra awkward for her,
somehow now she's saying shes fallen in love with me! I am flattered I guess but she just doesn't do it for me & I don't want to get involved with an overly emo-clinger, which is the vibe shes givin' me.

OK I want to record 2 mixes this week (one with wolf, one with flux)

Cool a guy down the street from eddies had a crazy projector & event lighting, + fog machine, and nikki let us borrow her rope lights, laser and fog machine - with the disco ball it looked really fuckin crazy inside and we covered all the speakers with jungle netting.

I'm pretty sure we lost like $1000+ on the DnB Dreamstreet event last night because even though there were a ton of people there they were almost all on the guest list.
I have been tellin' our crew that we are fucking ourselves by throwing it on a thursday.

1) People dont party that hard on a thursday, they have normal jobs. (also the bar vibe isn't as cool)
2) by being at a 21+ place we are excluding a huge percentage of our audience.

I MCed for Infiltrata. The girl MC seemed kinda snobby but maybe she was just trying to act cool. You know how like guys are rude to girls that they like? Anyway I fuckin threw it down and killed it again, when everybody was goin mental infiltrata gave me a hi five.

I want our next event on a fri or sat.

I am just too busy & advanced for my (ex)gf. We are still friends it just wasn't working.


Anyway a few days ago I watched this video on alchemy:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3510569191085492326&ei=ZCMVSvL1KZvW-AGLnJBE&q=alchemy

Later I wateched a video on the new atlantis and it talked alot about John Dee.

I watched this McKenna video on alchemy and he mentioned john dee as well. http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=alchemy&emb=0#q=mckenna+alchemy&emb=0

I got to thinking about my life and how it is not optimized.

How can I further refine my body mind and spirit?
I eat organic so I had that covered.
Do I excersize enough? I don't think so. (I have started hiking cowles mountain every day and doing yoga)

Do I meditate enough? What a good amount. I have decided on 40 minutes 2x a day. Meditation has been shown to increase the connection in the brain and help with the area associated with decision making.

I have been watching this video on qi gong http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1572962536605659291
(the excersizes start about 4 min something in, I feel alot less stressed out!)

My body type is ectomorph

"Repairing the Ectomorph (6th post down) http://www.ironaddicts.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8892"

-stressful lifestyle (features little or no active stress management) and little or no cardiovascular conditioning.

So, in order to repair myself I MUST excersize daily in order to correct my hormone levels. As well as manage stress as ectomorphs are over stressed as it is. Well qi gong is fuckin awesome for this. I feel like I can take up tai chi or some similar martial art now.
I feel a ton better already.

I'm going to keep excersizing and meditating every day and see how healthy, smart & successful I can get.

Last night was d0pe!! Reactivities going away party. Dj Wolf (used to be waffles) threw it down and colin (C$D) and I (synaesthetic mc) fuckin held it down propah for the intro. I did really well.

I was sneaky and had some neurotransmission assistance :D

I drank a double espresso right before I went on and I had 400mg of "sam-e" I was definitely on top of it and way faster when I was double timin'. After the set it was electro and I met another MC, Sage Emerald http://www.myspace.com/sageemeralds, he's a cool cat with lots of flows, he gave me his cd. I got tons of compliments on my Mcing and also girls kept hugging me way more than normal (I think it was because I was wearing a suit and tie)
but yea after that set Ridda Subliminal and Dino came in and got everyone hyped up. At that point I was hot as fuck because the venue had no A/C. I was also coming down from my coffee so I didn't want to get on the mic anymore. I had to leave or I would pass out so I left before reid speed came, but it was still an awesome time.

I was coming back from a boh session in PB and I am getting alot of compliments on my MC sound, which I blame on:

1) Practicing a lot (stretching out and working out my face muscles so I can be fast)
2) listening to my favorite mc's and learning from them
3) Deep breathing, eating organic and exercising so I have good brain function
4) SAM-E (this supplement is great for mood and energy, it helps with alcoholics and with the liver. I think my liver is messed up so this is really helping me out.
5) Coca tea / caffeine: Well my style of MCing is doubletime and I need to be quick. These help alot.

I was on the way home at 1 in the morning and I ran out of gas, my gas gauge wasnt working.

Cops eventually came and they were interrogating me as if I was on drugs or drunk. I had to do the sobriety test on an incline so I was almost falling over the whole time but luckily I didn't so I passed.

It just got me to thinking, what if I did drink alcohol?
I'd probably have a D.U.I. today.

Its kind of a joke that in my part of San Diego to be a "real bro" you have to get at least one D.U.I. Canned beer and bros disgust me, so I am really glad I quit alcohol.

Increasing my own intelligence is a really high priority for me lately and so I need to be sober for like 2 years I feel to really let my brain regenerate to where it should be.

This to me was a sign of

1) How not drinking is positively affecting my life.
2) I need to get a new car.
3) SAM-E helps me feel happier, less achy and smarter!

I was drinking a shitload of organic coffee and while it makes me motivated it leaves me scatterbrained and stressed out. Today I did not drink any coffee and it was harder to stay motivated but I feel healthier in my body.

I've been sober and eating only organic for the past month and I feel much better. It is expensive though! I'm justifying it as an investment in my health which gives me more energy to be productive. Also I have to be a good model for my nutritional company. Also, for my involvement in the immortalism institute and life extension foundation.

I've been taking sam-e everyday too, I believe I was an under methylator, when I take sam-e I can instantly feel increased neurotransmitters from excersize (runners high) so it is great motivation to get my heart rate up. Juggling and jogging are my main methods for keeping up my heart rate, I also notice that I focus better and MC / Flow better when my heart rate is going quickly enough.

I don't feel like I have enough time anymore. I spend most of my time coding html + css (and I just learned some jQuery) with my free time I excersize and cook organic food but that leaves little room for other things. I can't give my girlfriend as much attention as she wants. I've been going out to parties still if I know I can practice MCing (also I like being on stage or just being at parties with good loud music, I like performing and tripping people out) or if I know I can promote my crews upcoming dnb show. I generally try to leave early though because most houseparties I notice that the oxygen / carbon dioxide ratio inside gets really bad and it makes me feel dumber for a few days after hanging out inside for too long.

Even at these parties in the back of my mind I am thinking of all of my unfinished web projects.

Ah well, I'm getting through them. I just have to keep going.